Bad days

Hi... umm.. I'msorryIstoppedcominghereIwasbusybeingdepressedaboutwork...

So yeah. I got a job. I hate it. But what can I do? It pays well and when I tried to leave yesterday, the manager promoted me. What am I doing? Lets say that this company is grayish. In the Winter Dawn Online Casino grayish way. I basically check peoples documents so that we do not become Black As The Night In Prison. OH well. The things we do for money.. Someone needs to pay rent. I feel bad even thinking about it. I think I'll come back later, when I feel less...Well, Blah. 

Day 5- still nothing

I’ve been away for the last two days. I know that. And yes, I have been feeling guilty for neglecting this thingy, blog- stuff. And yes, there was a moment of “Am I going to stick to anything in my life?” but then I told myself that I will write when I feel like it and there’s no need to feel guilty.

This has been the worst day ever. I had two job interviews.

First interview: one of the best PR companies in the country, an interesting position that can be an actual career.

Second interview: a kitchenware shop that needs a clerk.

Guess which one I got?

Actually the first place told me that they will call me back if I get it in the next few days. Right. Then again the interview was…not so well, so I’m not surprised she didn’t tell me “OH! WE WANT YOU! WE WANT YOU NOW! TAKE US!”… or something close to these lines. Why am I not confident that I did well? Let me tell you how it went…

I arrive, on time (you can call me anything but not punctual) to a small office in southern TLV. I have no idea what the job is about, something about assisting this PR thing, how hard can that be? I kind of googled the place but then got lazy and didn't read about it. So I’m thinking, this is a bad area in the city, an assistant job, I don’t need to work hard for it really.  So I get there and open an ordinary looking glass door.

It is perfect. Everything is wooden and the lights are shiny and the woman that sounded like a man on the phone (I actually called her sir until she corrected me), doesn’t look like a man at all.

I’m impressed. I like wood. And its nice to know the gender of the secretary in the office. And she doesn’t look like the spawn of the devil that worked as a secretary in the call-center. (Seriously, that woman was related to the red horny guy). So after getting a nice glass of cold water I am ushered into the office of this interviewing woman. I sit down, thinking I should have at least combed my hair in the morning.

“bcdhvbh” is what I hear from this very white woman. Yes that’s what I have to say about her, she was white and had curly hair, maybe in her early 30ies, I don’t really know, it was all very blurry.

“what?”

“I said, how are you doing?

“Oh! I’m ok. It’s so hot outside, just need a moment to get myself together” I said this because I didn’t hear her and I need an excuse, the best one is to act stupid apparently.

 “Yes, yes, it’s hot so take a moment. “ I nod and make this weird head movement towards a paper on her table (assuming it’s my cv) that’s supposed to say ‘let’s begin'. I feel like an idiot.

“I see that you have no experience…”

I nod “yes, I just finished my degree, but I’m willing to learn! I’ll work much harder then experienced people, because I have something to prove to you and I really want this” DO I? WHY AM I SAYING THIS?

“I've tried taking young people before, they thought it’s all about clinking glasses with celebrities and no work” I shake my head disapprovingly.

“I know it’s not like that at all. I am willing to work hard”

“So… what do you know about our company?”NOTHING. NADA. NISHT.

“Well, not much, I tried googling you but your servers were down” OMG.

“Really?  Sounds weird.” She opens the company’s facebook page on the computer. “We are quite a big PR company, we work with (THE BIGGEST CELEBRITIES IN THE COUNTRY) and I need someone who will be good with people but with back office as well”

“YADA YADA, IM GREAT WITH STUFF LOOK AT ALL MY EXPIRIANCE AND RECOMMENDATIONS”

“YADA YADA, IM COOL AND IM GOING TO MAKE THIS HARD FOR YOU AND ASK LOADS OF QUESTIONS ABOUT WHAT YOU DID SO FAR”.

Eventually she looks at me and says “anything else you want to say?”. I’m thinking, this is my chance! Impress her!

“I have this fire inside me!” WHAT?? Whets wrong with me? “I need to prove myself and I am sure I am perfect for this job.”

“I see. And is that your real hair color?” she points at my freshly dyed red hair.

“No, but it’s also symbolic” Oh wow. It’s as if I’m trying to sound like an idiot. “aham. I see your only 24..”

“yes, young…but fierce”. I said young but fierce. I actually said this, to a real person.  

I really don’t remember the rest of it, only that she said that they will call me if I get the job and that she has many people to interview. I did feel like an idiot for the rest of the day.

So still no job. And well, not a great day. Mister lover boy hasn't been great today either. He forgot he had this poetry thing with his (stupid) friends and now I’m stuck waiting for him and its getting cold. You see I went to a coffee place until he’s done because he needs to drive me home. To his parents place. Because we are grandma sitting for three weeks until they come back from a vocation in the US. Yeah…

Day 3- still no job

Well yes it's day 3 but I do have three job interviews lined up! So that's great!

Overall, it has been really good so far. I met up with a friend who lives in NYC and came to TLV for a visit, we had a nice afternoon lunch.  It was really good except she kept saying that she can't believe how expensive it is in TLV compared to the US. Yep, hard to believe but it is true, Israel is very expensive to live in. Oh Israel... It's also loads of stuff. You know, the political stuff I'm trying to avoid talking about but will cause well I'm me. But later.

Anyhow, after meeting up with this friend I had to run to the TEDx event one of my other friends helped producing. I gotta tell you, it was AMAZING! There were so many inspiring people and so much good they are doing, be it social and medical research or activism to insure peace for our future generations. All trough the event I was wondering about this ability people have of doing. It is simple, after all, the world is divided into doers and those who just follow the first group. So what makes us part of one group and not the other? Is it laziness, brains or motivation? I'm not sure.

Then again, every time I want to do something that will be big and influential I don't think about the process but the final outcome, I'm actually starting to think that this is the actual cause of inactivity. At least in my case.  For example, I started writing this blog, thinking how great it will be to be a blogger and write every day, I never really thought about the process that I would have to go trough, coming up with ideas and actually sitting down and writing. Well, more like typing really. I'm only guessing, but maybe this is the difference between those two groups of people. Then there are more questions that rise up, for example: is having a vast imaginative ability a disadvantage in this case? When I see a future I can imagine it to the very detail but not what brought me to it, the boring parts, are beyond me. Then when I start doing, I can see the result in my head, but somehow getting there becomes almost impossible. The distance between nothing and that thing i imagine is too far.  Wouldn't it be better to not dream of the result but actually get to it trough work?

I Guess what I'm trying to say with all this, is that I admire the ability to really make things happen. Think about it, how many times did you think about a great idea that could be very successful but you never really tried. Is this the difference between us, the normal people, and TED speakers? If so, wouldn't the world be a better place if we did that extra effort and tried?

Yes I know, its a cliche song and all...

No Job- Day 2

This is going to be a rant. I warn, well myself really.

God damn it! It's like I didn't spend the last 2 weeks sending CVs and waiting by the phone like a lovesick army girlfriend. 

It seems that being 24 with little experience and an English degree makes me basically useless. Which is wrong cause I managed events, worked as a project manager and am a highly responsible person.. and stuff. 

It's not easy. Mister Lover Boy left for work in the morning and I faced another lonely day of looking for a job all over the fucking internet. I hate having breakfast alone. 

My best friend, Miss Biologist asked me to come over. I feel like going but then I feel guilty for having fun instead of looking for a job. I guess I'll go, should go outside at some point. Getting out of my home clothes will be nice.

I am not going back to the call center. 

That's what I said. 

And yeah, I know this post is not a happy one but what can I do? I guess everything is going to be alright somehow...


OMG yay! 10 min after this post I got a call! I have a job interview tomorrow! yay! Go Bob Dylan good energies! 

No Job- Day 1

Today is my first day of unemployment. Well, technically speaking its my 9th day but who cares? And really today is the first day my previous job stopped paying me. Whatever. 

So, what did I do today? I woke after a vividly disturbing dream about a crazy stoker person who looked slightly like Hagrid from Harry Potter (he had a flying bike, it flew cause it was connected to two flying Pegasuses) to find R, my dear partner in life and Mister Lover Boy, getting ready for another day of school and work. I obviously felt happy for him and shitty for me cause I knew I'm going to be stuck at home sending CVs all day long. And, well that's what I did. I sent loads of CVs to jobs I'm not gonna get or don't want to get. Then I felt sorry for myself for a few minutes...

..

ok, I felt sorry for myself for half of the day. Wearing Lover Boy's old pants and faded T-shirt didn't help. Not brushing my teeth in the morning and looking like a homeless person didn't help either.

After sending the CVs I basically had nothing to do.. 

so.. I watched this Great Game Of Throne's video on Youtube and I liked it so I watched this and this and well this. This comic girl is Great! She can tell a story and her robot guy is awesome! 

Anyhow, after spending most of the day on YouTube, Facebook and loads of news websites (I LOVE news websites! Reading/Watching news is my favorite hobby) I decided that brushing my teeth and taking a shower will be a nice idea, oh the wonders of my exiting day!

So after the shower  I needed some motivation which I got from This Ted Talk: 

Angela Lee Duckworth: The key to success? Grit

And... now I'm drinking wine and waiting for Mister Lover Boy to come home... maybe being unemployed is not that bad... well as long I still afford this cheep wine...

Very first...

This is the time to say hello! 

I am a wanna be blog writer who has nothing better to do so here I am! I've been meaning to start posting a blog for a while but I always put it off... its a wonder how mach unemployment motivates the bored! 

What is this going to be about? Mainly my personal anything about everything, be it my life, politics or literature. I am a well trained ranter, political science and literature degrees do that to you, so be aware!

Barack Obama and Vladimir Putin... I can't stop thinking about these two all day long. I keep imagining small action figures of the two fighting over a miniature globe until it is torn apart. 

I'm thinking Ukraine... and Syria and the next best thing really. The question is why? Is this a new Cold War starting? Or just power plays? Do they want us to compare their pants and see who has the bigger one? (Spoiler, man with big dicks dont need to show them off) 

Well we all know who has the bigger one here, don't we?
(check this out)

Somehow dear old Vlad seems to get away with anything, be it his cruel stance on Syria or the blatant occupation of Crimea (even though here I see why the Russian can claim to be doing the right thing). Some will say that America  under Obama is being smart, and cautious and that there are these sanctions nobody gives a shit about. And that's the truth, Russia, at this point, is strong enough to stand against the west. The question is, is the west strong enough to show super powers like Russia and China (for instance) that they do not dictate western policy. Not that western policy is any better really, not when there is a blood bath going on in everybody's back yards. Frankly all we see done are youtube clips about saving Syria's children.  Well Syria is a long rant so I better leave it for some other time.

Wow, this has been pointless yet satisfying... I guess there'll be more to come after all!